I am a single woman in Toronto and I am having the time of my life. Men are everywhere, I have my mind and my eyes open not to miss any opportunity to improve my knowledge in Manology. I am getting so good at this that there are big chances I become either a nun or a lesbian, very very soon. The more I learn about men, the less interesting I find them. I still like sex though, I think this is what keeps me going for now.
In Toronto there are more women than men so they are trying harder. Most of them are emigrants, so each individual is unique, a blend of his own background, education and Canadian influences. A girl has more chances here, than in a regular city, to find young, very well educated professionals of all colours and religions. Diversity is amazing and I feel like I am in a candy store: I want them all!!!
Bottom line, I enjoy beyond words dating men in Toronto, observing them, playing my own games with them or getting into their games and playing along. I just cant have enough. How can you settle to one when you have another ten waiting in line? I am not ready to make big decisions yet so I am gonna keep doing some cake tasting for a while. You never know what tomorrow might bring. What if I have to go back to my little Romanian home town tomorrow? If you knew what kind of men live in that town, you would make me date five Torontonians at a time and apply for refugee (love life reasons).
I am in Toronto for almost eight months and I had 10 first dates. Some were nice, some were not that nice, some were weird etc. Here they are, in brief:
1st date: At Starbucks. Background: Canadian. I am a girl looking for a boyfriend, not a shrink looking for a patient.
Message for him: when you date a girl for the first time, don’t keep on and on about your insecurities and problems. She probably has her own issues. We all do. Don’t act like a cry baby. If a girl wants a child, she will give birth to one. Usually, when dating, girls look for men that at least seem capable to take care of them. Don’t get me wrong, I think you are a great guy and once you will have all your problems figured out, you will be a great boyfriend for a girl. I wasn’t meant to be, because I am too focused on dealing with my own problems. I am that selfish.
2nd date: City tour by night. Background: Sri Lanka. Living in Canada for about ten years. Very handsome boy. Very smart boy. Loner. Weird. Mysterious. Damaged. Or maybe just married.
Message for him: you stood by me at a party where I knew nobody, you gave me my first Toronto tour and later on, when I needed help, you were there, even though we had our last talk half an year before. You are a good hearted handsome, smart boy, even though you are loner, weird, mysterious and damaged. Or maybe just married.
3rd date: City tour by day. Background: Lebanon. In Canada for about 7-8 years. Long walk in the cold. Nice dinner at Paramount Restaurant at Dundas Square. Funny, smart, many lines. We dated for two months and lots of things happened. But, to continue the description: emotional, jealous, exhausted me mentally and emotionally with all his moods.
Message for him: thank you for making me laugh for four months (we were friends for another two months after we stopped dating), for challenging me intellectually, for showing me new places in Canada. But, if I don’t want to listen to what you have to say, leave me alone. Keeping me in a room to yell at me for an hour, won’t make me like you more, on the contrary. Not to mention it only proves that when I called you a jerk, I was right. Keep in mind for future reference: if you want to prove a girl you are not a jerk, just don’t act like one. Simple as that. Otherwise you were wonderful. Keep up the good work.
4th date: Drinks at Jack Astor’s, if I recall well. There were few other dates, I don’t remember how many and where. I know for sure we went bowling once and I kicked ass. Background: Palestine. In Canada for a few years, more than 5 I think. Handsome, very tall (this turns me on, on, on). Funny, smart, hardworking. I think he is not ready for commitment, that is why I never went too far with him. Other than that, he seems like a great guy.
Message for him: You are hot. And so cute when you ask for it over and over again. And even cutter because you don’t feel offended when you don’t get it.
5th date: Crepes and drinks somewhere around College area. Background: Venezuela. In Canada for a while, I have no idea how long. Handsome, smart, funny. Being called “sweety” with a South-American accent is so damn sexy. Player. Looking to sleep around.
Message: Thank you for offering me an extra bed for the night, just because you were feeling bad I had to travel that long to get back home. I was deeply moved. Torontonian generosity overwhelms me. It is amazing how every man has at least one extra bed in his home, for unfortunate girls like me, that live far from downtown. I am still counting them (the extra beds).
6th date: Drinks on King Street West. Background: Mexico. In Canada for about 7 years. I am not sure. Movie director, good English, smart.
Message for him: You are nice but you are too shy. Sorry. I need a man that can at least try to dominate me.
7th date: Beautiful day in Kensington Market, Little Italy, drinks at Bier Market, dinner at a Thai place on King Street West then making out on the Path. A twelve hours long date. Background: Like he said: “Greek. Second generation here.” Charming, handsome, divorced, looking for flings. Of course, he had an extra bed for me. We sometimes bump into each other and he reminds me I still have an extra bed waiting for me at Yonge&Eglinton. Good to know.
Message for him: I am sorry I am not looking for a filler right now. You would be a perfect one: sexy, charming, experienced, well read, funny. But I have your number. You never know when I might need an extra bed.
8th date: Drinks somewhere. Background: India but born in Canada. For about three or four dates I heard more lines than my intelligence can handle and I witnessed the worst move to get a woman to bed, ever. Some guys are either idiots or just too lazy.
Message for him: So you invited me for a walk in Old Cabbagetown, on the way you remembered you must buy something from the supermarket, we entered the supermarket, you shopped as if you were getting ready for nuclear attack, of course you had to take the groceries home, before we could continue our walk, you insisted I shouldn’t wait for you outside because it is cold, so I went upstairs where I could see all the dirty underwear that you wore for the past month, lying on the floor, your toilet was so dirty that my body refused to pee, you realised you are very hungry so you started cooking a frozen pizza in the dirtiest oven I have ever seen, then you tried to have sex with me, I said no, so you didn’t walk me to the subway, you texted me the next weekend if I want to come over. Really? How can you be that idiot?
9th date: Easter Day. The Distillery, the Harbour Front, drinks at Hey Lucy! On King Street West. Background: German. Good looking, nice, polite. I really liked this guy.
Message for him: Like I told you, I don’t mind making some moves but making all of them, because you are afraid to be rejected, is just ridiculous. Once you work on your self esteem, give me a call. If I am not busy, I might take you back.
10th date:Drinks somewhere, I don’t remember the name of the area, somewhere around Jane subway station. Background: Canadian, born from Jamaican parents. Way too many lines. Way too many. But he was cute so I decided to make him my personal project.
Message to him: Paying for a girl’s drinks and movie is what gentlemen do. Once the dating gets more serious, people usually take turns when paying or each is paying for himself/herself. But when asking a girl out, make sure you can pay for a drink or a movie. Otherwise stay home. Oh! And stop bragging about your high education at Ryerson. Anyone can achieve that. Ryerson is for very ordinary people. Remember you live in Toronto, where gifted people come on scholarships from famous universities around the world. Maybe the girl you are bragging about your education to, had the chance to meet some talented PhDs which will make you look even more ridiculous. Just saying.
Conclusion is that dating can get very difficult at times. But, someone got to do it!